The Dream Tailgate

By: S&P

Earlier this week Uncle Tito asked me a question that I am surprised I have never been asked before. He asked me what my dream tailgate would look like. At first, I thought that I would be able to answer this question quickly, swiftly, and without hesitation. My dream tailgate? How hard of a question could this be? Then I started to think about it and I realized that there are a TON of things that make tailgating awesome. How could I describe my perfect tailgate without sounding like a 5 year old describing his day at kindergarten? So, in order to save my myself from that embarrassment, I sat down, made a list, and then started to put together my dream tailgate. Please read on with caution as I hope my dream tailgate doesn’t make you readers think I’m some loser who has no idea what an awesome tailgate really is and makes you never want to tailgate with me ever. IF that day were to ever come upon us. So, with that disclaimer out there, please read on!

For me, I want to start with the sporting event and that sporting event is soccer. The MLS to be exact. Now, now, I know what you are thinking. What the eff is wrong with this kid? Soccer? MLS soccer? But, please do not stop reading as I can assure you I have valid reasons. My first reason? I like MLS soccer and I live in ‘MURICA, so this is the only soccer I get to watch live. Second, I have never had the pleasure to tailgate a big college program football game, so I don’t know what I am missing out on. I’m sure it’s awesome, but I don’t know, so we will continue on with what I do know.

Next, the weather. For me, I would like a sunny, but not too hot early summer day. I am looking for sun, some cloud cover here and there, about 73 degrees (no more than 80 with humidity) and obviously no rain and little to no wind. This, for me, is the most ideal weather for grilling, drinking, playing games that require no movement, and playing games that require a lot of movement. I don’t mind if I get a little sweaty, I am an all out intramural athlete after all, but no sweating isn’t the end of the world either. But all in all, I’m hoping to wear shorts and a tee shirt.

Next, food and drinks. This for me, to be honest, is where I am second least picky. I will eat most anything and same goes for the drinking. For drinks, let’s keep it simple with a case or two of light beer for drinking games and a few six packs of craft beer. No, I am not a hipster, can’t a guy enjoy a few craft beers from time to time? For food, grilling up some hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, and having plenty of chips and dip is perfect for me. Basically, give me the average 4th of July party for food and I am a happy man.

Next, the games and music. Game, to me, is the second most important thing. I want it all when it comes to games. I want options and I want the ability to keep everyone in my party entertained with games. I don’t want to see anyone sitting or standing around waiting for a game to open up. What are these games you ask? Well let me tell you. Cornhole, ladder golf, sticks (that frisbee game), can jam, and spike ball. I would also like my slew of college party games as well. So please include beer pong, flip cup, whatever that game is called where you throw a ping pong ball at a beer can, and some dizzy bat. And lastly, I would have some soccer balls laying around for people to pass around. And for music, I am really not picky, so whatever the group wants is what I have no problem listening to.

Lastly, and the most important, the people. The people are going to make or break my dream tailgate. So, easy enough, send over my good friends and even my so-so friends. Hell, I’ll even take the general acquaintances as long as they know how to tailgate. I want everyone in a good mood, playing games, drinking beers, and showing the rest of the tailgaters how the pros do it. And that, is my dream tailgate.