Today feels like another day at the office, but this day is just a tad bit different than any other day. Instead of going home to your mundane life of preparing a healthy dinner which you would rather not eat. Tonight you have other plans. First pitch is at 7:05, and you have a date with America’s oldest pastime: baseball. You spend the majority of the day dropping humblebrags to fellow coworkers on how you are going to see your team tonight and hinting on how it’s going to be sick. So get ready to stare at the clock you have the longest day of work ahead of you.
Before you buy these tickets there are some rules to follow on how to properly handle the night game on a workday. First and foremost, rule #1: pack a bag of clothes the night before. Not a soul in the stadium wants to be sitting next to the guy in khaki pants, tucked in polo and team hat. Pack the essentials for the game: shorts, shirsey and best bucket hat you can find. Rule # 2: You leave the office early. Depending on your location to the stadium 3:00 PM is usually a good benchmark. You want to make sure you have time to crush some brews in the parking lot because professional baseball was designed to be paired with beer (Well all sports are designed to be paired with beer). Beer is the main reason I play softball once a week, believe me it’s not the relive the glory days. Rule # 3: eat a good lunch at work, you want to make sure you have some food in your stomach to hold you over until you can get your hands on that overpriced hotdog in the 3rd inning. Also, you can’t forget that bag of peanuts that are a pain in the ass to eat but worth it just to see how much crap you can get on the person in front of you without them noticing. Rule # 4: don’t you dare look at your phone or watch to see what time it is. Regardless of what time it is work will still be there in the morning, you will still be tired and you’ll thinking about how great that game was unless your team got blown out by 10. Last but not least, Rule # 5: remind everyone in the morning how great your night was. I can promise you this your night at the ballpark was way better than this weeks new episode of Survivor.
Cheers!
The Tailgate 